A Humorous Look at Places I Should Not Run:
I should not run near any restaurant where food smell lofts to the outside world. I ran the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon back in 2009, and had a great experience The race was well organized and featured a great course, except for the part where we ran right into a wall of breakfast food smell. Our senses were overloaded with the smell of bacon, pancakes, and coffee. I’ll tell you that is not the smells you want to have to overlook when you’re hungry enough to eat the south side of a north bound skunk.
I should not run in the dark anywhere I had not run in the daylight. During my military career, I was deployed to a few remote locations, my last deployment was to Al Udied Air Base, Qatar. This deployment was right in the middle of training for the Marine Corp Marathon. Despite missing out on the MCM and with a lot of grit, I kept running during the deployment despite the extreme temperatures and LONG duty days. About a month into the deployment I needed a long run. Up to this point all of my runs had been on the residential side of the base. One night I ventured to the operational side of the base, an area I had never run. Let’s just say my long run turned into a really, really, really long run when I could not figure out how to get back to the dorms.
I should not run near people who smoke, eat Krispy Kreme doughnuts and drive around looking to yell at runners. On a nice quiet Sunday morning I went for a run on RAF Mildenhall, UK. During this run part of the sidewalk had become a bit unstable under foot so I choose to run along the side of the road. I figured this was a safe spot, I had not seen a car in miles, I was on base and certainly the military community would understand someone trying to stay fit. Then I was passed by a car going the opposite direction, this car then turned around, and pulled up next to me. Once along side the driver began telling me, in a not so pleasant tone, how unsafe it was for me to be running on the road. I normally would have gotten upset, and maybe gave her an ear full, but the sight of this “lady” holding her smokes in one hand, eating a doughnut with the other and turning the steering wheel with her belly was just too much. I laughed out loud and nearly fell over.
I should not run (race) on a course which is not clearly marked. I ran a local 5k, more of a fun run, but still billed as a race where the route was a bit questionable. The Race Directed greeted everyone and thanked them for showing up. Then the RD thanked the sponsors, the city and his club for hosting his first race, then proceeded to give the count down. 5…..is everyone ready. 4….have a good race. 3…be safe. 2.. 1 GO. In a blink of an eye we were off, half the field ran one way and the other half ran the other way. No kidding, the race group took off in two different directions, it was nearly 100 yards down the road before both groups stopped turned around and looked at each other. The embarrassed RD then pointed in the right direction and we took off…..again. I’ll keep which direction I ran to myself.
What places should you not run?
What places should you not run?