We have all been there, the race that did not go so well. A race where you missed your goal or just plain missed performing in any recognized performance image of yourself. After crossing the finish line…depressed and depleted you only have a few moments to come up with a good excuse before your pummeled with “What Happened…We expected you 25 minutes ago?”

MY Top Ten EPIC Marathon Excuses

1. I was right on track for a PR before I saw the two for one burrito sale at Jimmy Johns

2. I got a wedgie at mile 16 and it took 10 miles of butt cheek squeezes to get it out.

3. I took a left turn for Albuquerque.

4.  (Said in my best Cheech and Chong voice) CUP CAKES MAN, this aide station had Cup Cakes! It was groovy man.

5. The pacer went home.

6. Did I mention it was raining sharks?

7. There was a clown standing at mile 20 and you know how I hate clowns.

8. At mile 6 someone yelled you’re almost there so I figured I could walk it in….man I’ll get that kid.

9. The library was holding a blood drive, so I gave…that was a really bad idea.

10. Did I mention the pirates?

Sometime the day is not ours.  We have all suffered with marathon defeat…if your going to make an excuse, make it EPIC.

What is your best marathon crash excuse?

Excuses that did not make the top 10.

I thought it was the NASCAR marathon so I only made left hand turns.

I saw a sign for the longest parade ever…so I stopped to watch.

I decided to stand on the corner of Winslow, Az.